Learning, Growing, Rambling ...

These are just thoughts I'm having as I study more, seek God more, and learn new truths about my own life. I've run into some really funny videos lately that address how fake Christians can be ... and then I heard a sermon along the same line ...

I'm excited about it because I think I'm seeing more and more Christians getting real with themselves and their search for truth among the Christian life. This has had me buzzing since the beginning of my 'return to church'. So this is a rambling my learning process, my growth lately, and some other stuff. I have some pretty strong words for those of us that have ever lived in denial, 'pretended', or who have just aimlessly 'gone through the motions'.

As I learn more about relationships, co-dependency, and what is true (God's truth), I have come to realize that no matter how many nuggets I find in a book or how many quotes that speak deeply to a situation, if I do not apply those things to my life, it's all pointless! And I mean ... REALLY apply them ... in a way that causes us to approach a situation differently because of the truths we have learned.

I wonder when is the last time I learned something and actually walked it out? Okay ... people say, "walk it out" and my mind doesn't grasp what that really means. It doesn't just mean to apply a truth to our own thinking so that we 'feel better' about us and how we live! It doesn't mean that this knowledge now takes up space in our brain, that it gave us an 'ah-ha' moment, or even that we have the ability to teach it to others, no, no, no ...

It means ... -oh, there is depth in what this means- ... It means ... To take these truths and then USE them TRUTHFULLY in new situations or (probably more appropriate) in the situations you HAVEN'T DEALT WITH yet!

You know how people always say things like , 'in your mess you find your message'? Well, if we don't deal with our mess truthfully, we don't really get the message ... we haven't really 'walked it out' if we haven't used the truth to deal with our mess. And to put it quite frankly, to 'deal with our mess' means to work out your issues once and for all!

You have anger issues? You have issues with your spouse? You have issues with addiction? You have issues with letting people walk all over you? You have issues with being a 'serve-a-holic' or a workaholic? You have issues with pornography? You have issues with gossip? You have issues with being jealous of a person or a person's talent? Guess what? There is a reason for all of these things coming up in your life. *If we don't deal with them, how can we ever help anyone else? Let's just stop trying to help other people until we've ... removed the logs that are blinding us.

We have GOT to deal with it and STOP walking around like Stepford Christians!!!!!! Hello!!! We are jacked-up individuals! I'm sorry, but I just get sick to death of people PRETENDING!!! Guess what???!!! You are just as messed up as I AM!!! LOL! How long will we just keep living in denial ...and for the very few honest Christians that admit having problems (Bless their hearts), we'll tell them what we've learned from a book because WE HAVE NO REAL EXPERIENCE in 'pushing through', 'praying through', or 'pressing through' ANYTHING! Well, that's just sad!

How often are we really making changes in our lives with God's truth that HEALS? I know I don't as often as I should and I don't see a lot of Christians having their lives changed drastically over and over again.

Change, hmmm ...

Our hair,

our car,

our clothes,

our church,

our job,

our house,

our location ...

We can find new places, things, and people to keep covering it all up, but in the end we are left with the same false belief working against us in our lives that isn't producing any fruit. Worse, it also plays out (in one way or another) in our children's lives ... and their children ... and it goes on and on until we decide to grab hold of the truth (freely given to us) to stop it!

There was a day in your life, or several days maybe, that the enemy wanted you to believe a lie... and you did.

You believed that you weren't good enough, that you deserved what you got, that you were not loved by someone or anyone, that you were rejected or neglected, that you were hopeless, that you were all alone ...

If you ever believed a lie like that, and we all have at one time or another, there is a truth that will heal your false belief. You find that truth in a eulogy God wrote for you. This is why knowing who God says you are is important. This is why our 'Identity in Christ' is important. And the longer we believe what He says about us, the more we begin to believe we don't have our own identity at all. Let's call off the search for self! We belong to God and that is where we are kept. We are not even our own. And we don't need to be ... we might WANT to show ourselves ... but all God is concerned about is that we reflect His son! That's the light the shines in darkness! That's the salt of the earth! It isn't YOU.

God didn't choose us because of how much money we make, or how good we are at something ... we've already been chosen. It's done. No reason for competing with one another or being jealous of God's other children. Let me tell you a secret .... They were chosen TOO! ((GASP)) hahaha.

We were ALL chosen and God doesn't have favorites!

To sum up my rant ... lol

Let's start believing what God says about us- get rid of our false beliefs,

let's get rid of the root cause of our dysfunction once and for all

and deal with our issues truthfully- stop being Stepford Christians,

let's become a light that looks just like Jesus so others will be drawn to HIM, not us

and give God ALL the glory!

Why?

Because it's just not about us!

Who does God say I am? Or ... The eulogy God wrote about each of us ... :)

• I am a child of God.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name. John 1:12

• I am a branch of the true vine, and a conduit of Christ’s life.

I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:1, 5

• I am a friend of Jesus.

No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have

called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

John 15:15

• I have been justified and redeemed.

being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus. Romans 3:24

• My old self was crucified with Christ, and I am no longer a slave to sin.

knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, that we would no longer be slaves to sin. Romans 6:6

• I will not be condemned by God.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

• I have been set free from the law of sin and death.

For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

Romans 8:2

• As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ.

and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him

in order that we may also be glorified with Him. Romans 8:17

• I have been accepted by Christ.

Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:7

• I have been called to be a saint.

To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours. 1 Corinthians 1:2 (Ephesians 1:1; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)

In Christ Jesus, I have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.

But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption. 1 Corinthians 1:30

• My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me.

Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? 1

Corinthians 3:16 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19

• I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him.

But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 1 Corinthians 6:17

• God leads me in the triumph and knowledge of Christ.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the

sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 2 Corinthians 2:14

• The hardening of my mind has been removed in Christ.

But their minds were hardened; for until this very day at the reading of the old covenant the same veil remains unlifted, because it is removed in Christ. 2 Corinthians 3:14

• I am a new creature in Christ.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new

things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

• I have become the righteousness of God in Christ.

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21

• I have been made one with all who are in Christ Jesus.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

• I am no longer a slave, but a child and an heir.

Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians

4:7

• I have been set free in Christ.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

• I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual

blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. Ephesians 1:3

I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God.

just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and

blameless before Him. Ephesians 1:4

• I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace. Ephesians 1:7

• I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance.

In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose

who works all things after the counsel of His will. Ephesians 1:10-11

• I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.

In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise. Ephesians 1:13

• Because of God’s mercy and love, I have been made alive with Christ.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we

were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been

saved). Ephesians 2:4-5

• I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ.

and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 2:6

• I am God’s workmanship created to produce good works.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared

beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

• I have been brought near to God by the blood of Christ.

But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of

Christ. Ephesians 2:13

• I am a member of Christ’s body and a partaker of His promise.

the Gentiles are fellow heirs and fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. Ephesians 3:6; 5:30

• I have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ.

in whom we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him. Ephesians 3:12

• My new self is righteous and holy.

put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Ephesians 4:24

• I was formerly darkness, but now I am light in the Lord.

you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light.

Ephesians 5:8

• I am a citizen of heaven.

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus

Christ. Philippians 3:20

• The peace of God guards my heart and mind.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

• God supplies all my needs.

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

• I have been made complete in Christ.

in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority. Colossians

2:10

• I have been raised up with Christ.

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Colossians 3:1

• My life is hidden with Christ in God.

For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3

• Christ is my life, and I will be revealed with Him in glory.

When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

Colossians 3:4

• I have been chosen of God, and I am holy and beloved.

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion,

kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

• God loves me and has chosen me.

knowing, brethren beloved by God, His choice of you. 1 Thessalonians 1:4

What if our image of the Christian were to change? What if we were to really seek the Lord's idea of how we should be a Christian? Would it line up with what we have seen, heard, or experienced from Christians around us?

If Jesus said that we should "shine as lights amidst the world's darkness" (Matthew 5:14-16) do you think we do a good job of that? And if we do, why are being told we're really just "on fire for the Lord"? Is this not what Christianity is supposed to be? Is this not what the Bible tells us over and over? And will these Christians that are so "on fire" soon fall from the excitement and love they have for God?

What if the image I have of how a Christian should be is all together different from your idea of how a Christian should be? What if the Christians I have been exposed to in my past look like they're "on fire for the Lord" all the time? This "on fire for the Lord" statement gives me the impression of a Christian who has been falsely pumped up at some pep rally for God. And I think this is true. If we let *people pump us up and get us all excited for God we will soon fall from the adrenaline ... sort of like the effect of an info-mercial. But if we let God do it, I don't think we'll fall. If we design our walk just as it's laid out, this is how the Christian will be. That's exciting!

What if living on fire for God is just my way of being a Christian? Well, it would certainly explain a lot. You see, I won't ever think that what I'm giving is "good enough". I will never come to a point in my life where I think, ya know God, here it is ... I think that's good enough for you.

No way!

"Church People"

Many times in the military world I have found myself in an uncomfortable stuffy setting where women are pretending to be the most perfect form of a human being possibly made. They are talking about all of their perfect things, their perfect children, and their perfect lives while clutching their designer handbags and using their husband's rank to make them feel important.

I thought these were the women that would support me while my husband serves his country? What is going on here? It makes me want to scream! Better yet, it makes me want to make up a story about my child being in jail and my husband being a drunk! I am sure that would give them something to talk about.

Can you imagine how I, the imperfect, fun-loving, moody, butterfly-spirited, Wizard of Oz loving, speaks her mind, kind-of-girl must feel like in this environment? Suffocated and feeling horrible about who I am! And why? They are the ones being fake! *It's the pressure to be like them. I am delighted to have moved on to a place where these people no longer have the power to pressure me.

Unfortunately, over the past several years, I've also noticed that this facade also exists in the church. But in this environment it takes on a strange life of it's own. This is church after all, a place where a Christian community comes together in keeping Christ the center and focus of all things. How can this facade exist among Christians? We all come together for one cause and one cause only. Yet some people have adopted this IDEA of how they are SUPPOSED to be "church people" and that's how they pretend to be. No matter what "this way" is ... they pretend to be it. For lack of a better term, I have called these people "church people". These people are not all people that attend church, just the ones that have lost their focus on Christ.


I was once at a church member's house for family night (church related event) and during a discussion I was asked who my favorite music artist was. Several people had already answered with their own "Chris Tomlin" kind of artists. Then I said my favorite was Sheryl Crow. Big eyes ... strange looks ... disappointment ... quiet. Then a few people said, "well, if we're being honest mine is ..." and they proceeded to talk about the secular artists they enjoyed. The leader of discussion was not in the least bit amused by my honesty.


You see, I knew how I was *supposed* to answer, but I decided to tell the truth and these "church people" tried to make me feel bad about it. Can a person really be offended by Sheryl Crow? *Or does it offend their "idea" of how "church people" should be?*

New Christians are pressured by people in the church to act a certain way from day one. From the moment they step into a church they are judged, and not by God. They are to listen to a certain kind of music, dress a certain way, and speak a certain way. This is also all expected at once. The new Christian is to know the entire Bible and be able to recite scriptures immediately. The new Christian is to know the books of the bible, where to find them, and how to interpret them properly. Which makes me wonder ... didn't you just invite Johnny to church? How can he possibly know these things. He was just saved a month ago! Where is the teaching, guidance, and LOVE for your fellow brother or sister? Just like with the military spouses, no support or focus.

I think "church people" pride themselves in how long they have been a Christian. This is held up like a badge of honor. They come to church, pay their tithes, get their highly expected entertainment, and go back home. Not to mention the harsh glance at a knee length skirt served up with a gossipy best friend's "can you believe she would wear that" statement. It doesn't matter to them how they have served their community, loved their neighbor, led others to Christ, read their bibles, or given to the poor. They use this position in the church just like the military spouses used their husband's rank. I'd rather have Jesus anyday!

Maybe new Christians are undervalued. Maybe new Christians have a lot more to offer than the 25-year Christian. Many "mature Christians" have trouble adapting to new ideas, changing old habits, and getting rid of this idea of how the younger Christian is supposed to be. Why can't we read the bible on an iPhone app? Why can't we text our friends to say hi when we have a break from our kids? Why can't our music in church be a little louder and have an edge that captures the heart of a new generation? Why do we have to conform to YOUR ideas? What is Christ's idea for us? That's the focus, Jesus Christ!

I have done church both ways. I have pretended and tried to act the part, which I became very good at. And then I decided to get real and make sure that I was doing it the right way. I only get so much time on earth to make it happen and I'll do it honestly and with one person in mind! When someone finds it hard to believe that I have never heard a Christian song from the 90's, I don't mind telling them I was listening to Rap, Not Amy Grant! It's a part of who I am. It's a part of my personal life and walk with the Lord.

I challenge people's ideas, I ask the dumb questions, I read my bible from an iPhone, I listen to Sheryl Crow, I wear jeans to church, I prefer The Message over the King James, I text scriptures to my friends, I watch noneducational garbage on TV, and I love pop-culture. I also teach children about Jesus and how to pray, I serve my church with all of my heart, I tell strangers about Jesus Christ, I teach my family how to serve Christ, I encourage old and new Christians to be all that God wants them to be, I love my enemies, and my WHOLE life is given to Christ every single day.

I am a new Christian. EVERYDAY!



Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Matthew 6:33 (The Message)